International Intrigue: Trixie Belden #36- "The Mystery of the Antique Doll"

Woohoo! New year, new post, and a new Trixie book!

Well, OK; it's not exactly new. But I had never read it before. #36 is one of the much-maligned 80's-era books. I was prepared to hate it. It wasn't as bad as I thought, until the last few chapters, which made me want to scream. But we will get to that shortly.


For once, the plot is pretty straightforward. The book opens with Trixie and Honey having to accompany Bobby to a check-up at the doctor's office, because he refused to go unless the girls went with him. Way to give in to your six year-old's demands there, Helen Belden. On the plus side, Bobby does talk more like a six year-old in this book, instead of the three year-old he usually sounds like. The doctor asks Trixie and Honey if they will help look after Mrs. De Keyser, a neighbor of theirs who has broken her arm. Always eager to help, the girls agree.


Mrs. De Keyser lives on Glen Road, so the girls stop there after school the next day. They meet her and her rascally dog, Willy. Willy is a kleptomaniac who likes to steal things and run off with them (this will become important later). The girls notice a new shop in front of Mrs. De Keyser's house. It's a small antique store. Mrs. D (sorry, but I'm tired of typing De Keyser over and over) is renting the space to a man named Carl Reid. Trixie and Honey decide to check out the shop on their way home. Inside the shop, the girls see lots of old toys, dolls, etc. Carl Reid finally comes out, and Honey takes the lead for once and starts asking him lots of questions about the merchandise. He doesn't know a thing about any of the antiques, and he seems relieved when the girls finally leave. Trixie thinks there is something fishy about him. What else is new?


Trix goes back alone to try to interview Mr. Reid for the school newspaper, but he's really mean and yells at her to go away and quit snooping around his shop. . Aren't antique shops kind of made for snooping? The guy isn't going to sell many that way


This upsetting incident is quickly forgotten, however, when Honey calls Trixie later that night and invites her to Paris. Yes, Paris! The one in France! Honey's parents are taking her for a three-day weekend trip, and she wants Trixie to go too. Plans are quickly made. Plans which are also discussed the next day at Mrs. De Keyser's house. The girls are out in the yard talking, and Mr. Reid overhears them. Suddenly he is all smiles and politeness, and asks Trixie and Honey for a favor. He wants them to go by a shop in Paris and pick up an antique doll for him. Maybe I've just been watching too much Locked Up Abroad, but this seems like a very bad idea to me. You never, ever transport goods for someone you don't know! Apparently Trixie and Honey have never seen Locked Up Abroad, because they agree to pick up the doll. Why, Trixie, why? When he was so rude and mysterious just a few days ago? Trixie and Honey come across as kind of dumb and naive in this book. All of the Bob-Whites seem a bit off somehow.

The trip to Paris goes smoothly, if quickly. Trixie and Honey do go pick up the doll from a shop in a bad looking neighborhood. They note how heavy the doll is. Or at least, the package holding the doll. Mr. Reid asked that they not take the doll out of the box He has the doll. He says a little doggy came by yesterday with the doll, and he took it from him and put it in his room. Trixie says Willy must have ran into the shop (he got away from them the day before), grabbed the doll, and ran back out with it. Really? I find it hard to believe that a) the shop door happened to be open. b) Of all the things in the shop, Willy took that doll (was it lying on the floor?). c) That Willy could or would carry it that far, given how heavy the doll supposedly was.


Trixie, Honey, and her brothers examine the doll and find counterfeiting plates inside of her dress. (Am I the only one totally not surprised by that?) But they don't go to the police because Trixie and Brian think the cops will think she had something to do with it. Don't the cops know who Trixie is by now?! Why on earth would they think that? They hold onto the doll, for now.


The next day, Trixie and Honey are overtaken by the red-haired man. He's a French inspector who has been watching the Paris end of the counterfeiting racket for a while now, and he tries to arrest them. They talk him out of it, telling him about the doll and Mr. Reid. Trixie says they gave the doll back to him, and Inspector Patou buys their story and lets them go. He's kind of a bumbling, clumsy, Inspector Clouseau type. But he's going to go investigate Mr. Reid.


This is where the book really gets bad, in my opinion. Trixie meets with the all of the Bob-Whites that night. All of them tell their parents they are going to the movies. In reality, they are going to return the doll to Mr. Reid. Well, leave it on the doorstep and then watch from the bushes to see what happens. What this is supposed to accomplish, I don't know. And have the Bob-Whites ever flat-out lied to their parents like that?! They all go to the shop and they find Inspector Patou there as well. They tell them what they're doing, and then leave the doll on the doorstep and throw pebbles at the window. The bad guys take the doll and Inspector Patou moves into confront them. Then, for reasons I will never understand, Trixie goes running through the door behind him. All the Bob-Whites follow her. Of course, they're all captured. Trixie wiggles free and tries to escape, but the catch her at the last second. Finally, the deus ex machina- I mean, the police show up out of nowhere to save the day. Mrs. DeKeyser had called them after she saw people sneaking around outside in the bushes. The bad guys are caught, the Bob-Whites are OK, and they never do tell their parents what they were really doing. Apparently lying to your parents is acceptable Bob-White behavior now. Ugh.

Merry Christmas from Brian's Jalopy!

I'm sorry for the delay between updates. Real-life drama got in the way for a while. I meant to do one more before Christmas, but it's just not going to happen. So this blog will be on hiatus until the end of the year. Don't worry; I'll be back in January with more recaps, more snark, and all things Trixie! Thank you for your patience. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and a blessed new year.

The Great Costume Caper: Trixie Belden #29- "The Mystery of the Velvet Gown"

This isn't a particularly memorable Trixie book, which probably explains why I couldn't remember what happens in it. This was like reading a new volume for me. It's not bad or anything, but it's not super good, either. It's just kind of...there.

It's just after New Year's and the beginning of a new school semester. Sleepyside High is getting ready for its annual Freshman Class play. This year's production in "Romeo and Juliet." Hey, we read that my Freshman year of high school, too! The entire Freshman class is involved in one way or the other, and the Seniors act as guides or mentors or whatever you call it. Trixie is a stagehand, Honey is on the costume crew (of course), and Diana is trying out for the part of Juliet (of course). We all know Di is pretty enough to play Juliet, but can she really act? Apparently so, because she gets the part. Of course, not everyone is happy for her. Trixie overhears a girl named Jane Morgan saying that Di didn't deserve the part, and that she would make her sorry, blah blah blah. She and Honey decide not to tell Di what they heard, since she is nervous enough anyway.

The play is being headed up by Miss Darcy, a teacher at Sleepyside High who is also a friend of Miss Trask's. Miss Darcy has a lot on her mind besides the play, though. She receives from England that her father has been kidnapped. And on a snowy night as she is driving to The Manor House, Miss Darcy accidentally hits a dog with her car. It's not just any dog; it's Reddy! Poor thing! Bobby is there, and everyone is upset, and it's a really terrible scene, actually. The Belden kids take Reddy to the town vet, Dr. Samet, who also happens to be Jane Morgan's uncle. Reddy has a broken front leg, but he will be OK.

Rehearsals for the play start the next day. Miss Darcy is stressed and she snaps at Diana, which doesn't help Di's nerves any. Her fiance, Peter Ashbury, starts hanging around the rehearsals. For once, Trixie doesn't automatically find him suspicious. Honey, however, feels that she has seen him somewhere before but she can't remember where.

Rehearsals continue. Di continues to be nervous, Miss Darcy continues to be tense, and Jane Morgan continues to be a jerk to the Bob-White females. There is one bright spot. Valuable, authentic, expensive costumes are being loaned to the school to be used during the play. One of them is the velvet gown of the title. It's jewel-encrusted and it sounds awesome. Both Miss Darcy and Peter Ashbury seem pretty protective of the costumes and nervous about letting the students touch them. Trixie overhears them arguing with each other after rehearsal.

Some weird things happen, but really, they are pretty low-key. Miss Darcy gets very possessive of a costume catalog in her office. She doesn't want Trixie or Honey to look at it. She also gives Trixie the wrong envelope at one point. Instead of containing money to pay Reddy's vet bill, the envelope contains a receipt and slip to a safe deposit box, and some photos costumes from a catalog. The school newspaper also has some actual photos of the costumes that they had taken, but the photos disappear. Catalogs, safe-deposit boxes, missing photos...reading back over it now, it's not really that interesting.

Slightly more interesting is when Trixie sees Miss Darcy in her office with the velvet gown and scissors in her hand. She tells Trixie that she was sewing the jewels back on because some of them came loose, but Trixie can tell that she is cutting them off. Trixie and Honey decide they have to find out more about Peter Ashbury. They go with Miss Trask to New York City (where he lives). She leaves them at the museum for a couple of hours while she visits her sister. Of course, they don't stay there. They find Asbhury's address in the phone book and track him down and follow him for a bit. They find him with another woman and a couple of small children. He finally sees them and gets mad, but they play it off as a coincidence. On the way home, Miss Trask finds a newspaper article about him. It says that Peter Ashbury was a gemologist for a prestigious Park Avenue firm, but he was fired and will be indicted on charges of fraud. He has a habit of taking real gems and replacing them with fakes ones to sell to his customers. Honey finally remembers that must be where she has seen him before, since her mother buys expensive jewelry all the time. Oh yeah- and that woman he was with was definitely his wife, and the kids were his kids. Miss Trask is upset that her friend Miss Darcy is being played.

Things get truly serious when the costumes disappear. Trixie and Diana are accused of having something to do with it. Guess who accused them? Jane Morgan still hasn't given up on her vendetta against them. They both claim innocence, and Trixie promises Miss Darcy that she will get the costumes back by the next day. Maybe not the smartest thing to say when you are claiming you know nothing about their disappearance, Trixie.

Trix is sharp, though. She thinks Jane Morgan took the gown so she could blame Trixie and Di for it, and she is correct. Jane actually comes to Trixie for help, admitting that she let things get out of hand. All four of the girls go to find Miss Darcy and tell her what happened, but she's not in her office. They find a paper there, instructing Miss Darcy to remove some of the gems from the gown and place them in a safe-deposit box. Otherwise her father will be killed.

Before they can contact Miss Darcy, Peter Ashbury finds them. He forces them into his car at gunpoint. They go to Manor House, knowing that Miss Darcy most likely went to Miss Trask for help. Peter Ashbury waves his gun around and intimidates the women, but he's no match for the male Bob-Whites (minus Dan) and Regan. They overpower him and Sergent Molinson takes him away in handcuffs. (And seriously; where is Dan? He's mentioned in the beginning of this book, then he disappears). The police inform Miss Darcy that her father has been found and he's OK. Another happy ending. But we never do find out how the play goes.

Cool Trixie Stuff- handbags

I'm always on the lookout for cool Trixie stuff to share with you all. I've seen these handbags before, on Etsy and on Ebay, but I'm not sure how I feel about them. On the one hand, they're cute and very creative. On the other hand, an old book has to be destroyed in order to make them. Still, I like the idea that Trixie and company are still remembered fondly today. If you'd like to buy this bag, you can find it here.


This bag is also cute, and it looks as though no books were harmed in the making. Very retro picture of Trixie and Honey there. Thought I definitely have my own personal view of how Trixie should look, it is interesting to see how the different cover artists drew her.

Sorry this update is so brief, but I'm leaving for vacation with my husband on Monday. Expect a proper blog update later in the month of September. Until then!

Cross-Dressing Wedding Crashers: Trixie Belden #17- The Mystery of the Uninvited Guest

In the past, if I were pressed to choose a favorite Trixie book, it probably would have been this one. Re-reading it solidified that decision in my mind. I love this book. Definitely my favorite. I'm a little surprised that it doesn't score higher on a lot of people's lists. Some say the tone of the book is off, but I think the writing style of this one is great. It's more introspective, contains better dialogue, and the humor is actually funny. Some of Trixie's faults are pointed out and dealt with in this book, instead of being glossed over as they often are. And everybody gets to play a role in this one. Di, Dan, Bobby, Regan, Mr. Maypenny, Mrs. Vanderpool- everyone is invited to this party. Oh, and I like the cover too, except for Jim's fuchsia red hair. Trixie looks really pretty in her bridesmaid dress.

I don't mean to sound lazy, but I'm not going to try to recap the whole thing. It's just too involved. This book picks up where the last one left off. It's still summer in Sleepyside, and everyone is getting ready for Hans and Julianna's wedding. They're to be married in the Manor House garden, and all the Bob-Whites will play a part in the ceremony. It should be a happy time, but Trixie is upset by the arrival of her cousin from Idaho, Hallie Belden. Hallie is tall and slender and even prettier than Diana, if such a thing is possible. Trixie and Hallie have never gotten along very well in the past, and this visit doesn't start off very well either. Trix sees someone at the window of the Belden's home, looking down the lane with binoculars. She accuses Hallie of spying on her, but it's actually Bobby who is the culprit. He tells them some jibberish about seeing a wheelchair and someone stealing mail. Bobby actually sounds more grown-up and articulate than usual in this book, but still, no one can make sense of what he is talking about.

The wheelchair becomes very important throughout this story. Trixie grudgingly lets Hallie help her investigate. They find that the chair was supposed to be delivered to the Glen Road Inn, but was lost along Glen Road instead. It eventually ends up at the Inn to be used by elderly cripple Miss Ryks. Miss Ryks is staying there along with her nephew, the scrawny Dick Ryks. Miss Ryks manages to finangle an invitation to the wedding, even though neither Hans nor Juliana is really sure who she is or how she knows their families.

The wheelchair isn't the only thing that goes missing. The Lynch mansion is robbed while the Lynches are having dinner at their country club. Diana never receives an invitation to the wedding, even though Honey is sure one was sent to her. Trixie thinks that whoever Bobby saw stealing mail must have taken it.

Worse yet, Juliana's diamond tulip engagement ring goes missing. (It has to be a tulip, because they're from Holland, see?) Suspicion falls on Dan when the ring is found in his handkerchief, shoved into a drawer in Uncle Regan's desk. Before they can confront him about it, Dan disappears. Some members of his old gang have been seen hanging around Sleepyside. The adults think maybe Dan has gone back to his old ways, but the Bob-Whites are worried that something sinister has happened to him.

Food begins disappearing from the Belden house. Moms thinks she is losing her mind. Scooters, bicycles, and wagons disappear all along Glen Road. Bobby is acting strange, too; he's quiet and withdrawn and not nosing his way into everyone's business like he usually is. Something is bothering him, but Trixie is too busy with wedding preparations and the search for Dan to find out what it is.

Things start to make sense when a couple of the gang members are apprehended by the Bob-Whites and the police, trying to sell the stolen wheels and the stuff from the Lynch robbery at a big yard sale. It's a pretty funny scene, actually, with the Bob-Whites managing to get in everyone's way and keep anyone from buying the stolen goods. It turns out the gang members had been hiding in the woods and had convinced Bobby to bring food to them by telling him he could be in their "club." When Bobby got suspicious, they told him they would hurt Reddy with their knives. That is big-time creepy, especially for a Trixie Belden book! Poor kid!

Even with the gang members captured, there is still no sign of Dan. Trixie and the Bob-Whites still can't figure out who Miss Ryks is or how she and her nephew ties into all the robberies. They have been to the inn to spy on both the Ryks several times, but they never seem to be there at the same time. Usually the only person they see is Dick. Finally, they manage to catch Dick dressing up as his "Aunt Kate." They're the same person! Trixie tells the police, but they are skeptical. They agree to send a couple of officers to the wedding to help guard the gifts, and they will keep an eye on the inn, but that's all they can do.

The big showdown happens at the wedding. Hallie goes missing before the ceremony. Miss Ryks shows up, and Trixie manages to show her as a fraud once and for all. He/She/It is actually the person Dan's old gang was reporting to. Dan and Hallie are found tied up back at the Inn, in an upstairs room. And somehow, the wedding goes off more or less without a hitch, and Hans and Juliana never suspect a thing. That may be the biggest miracle Trixie has ever pulled off.

Last lines: "No, Hallie, that's not quite right." Trixie did her best imitation of a drawl and linked arms with her new friend. "You're an OK kid yourself!"
"Oh, jeeps," Hallie chuckled.
"That's "gleeps!" the Bob-Whites chorused.

Thank you for your patience- this was supposed to be up last week, but I got sick. Next book will be...well, I'm not sure yet. Guess you will have to wait and be surprised. Thanks for reading!

Your comments

Just a quick note to say I really really appreciate your comments. I'm sorry I haven't replied much before now. I was trying to, but E-Blogger was giving me fits. I think I've figured it out now. I hope this blog will inspire discussion of the Trixie Belden book series, so by all means, let me know what you think! I'll even throw out a question: What is your favorite Trixie book? Or favorites, if you can't pick just one.

If You Ain't Dutch, You Ain't Much: Trixie Belden #16- "The Mystery of the Missing Heiress"

I chose this book (#16) for recap because I wanted to do a recap of #17, The Mystery of the Uninvited Guest, and I knew this book’s story dove-tailed into that one. I had forgotten most of the events of #16, and I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. The continuity is good, Di and Dan are involved, and the characters are actually in-character and well-written. My research indicates a possible author of Nicolete Meredith Stack, but no one really knows for sure.

It’s summertime at Crabapple Farm. Does anyone else feel like the books that take place mostly at the farm or the Manor House have a wonderful cozy, homey feel? I want to live on Crabapple Farm in the summer. The Bob-Whites are excited because Mr. Wheeler has given them his old station wagon to use for a club car. (Doesn’t that violate the rule that they can only use things they paid for themselves?) Each Bob-White will own 1/7th of the car. I wonder which seventh Trixie gets. There is no time to try out their new ride, though, because the horses need to be exercised. The Bob-Whites ride through the game preserve to the marsh, which ends next to some very fragile cliffs. There are danger signs all over the place, warning people to stay off them. The Bob-Whites find some men working in the swamp. They say it is going to be drained an a factory built there. The Bob-Whites are upset, as they love the marsh. Trixie sees a “sinister” old man disappear into the woods, but the others don’t see them. The workers say he was asking questions about the marsh as well.

The next day, a “mysterious-sounding” man calls Manor House, asking for Jim. He gets Trixie instead. He asks if Jim has an aunt named Betje Maasden. Trix doesn’t know, so the guy gets mad and slams down the phone, saying he will find out some other way. Trixie remembers the name Betje Maasden from a newspaper article about the new factory. Her name is the last one to appear on the title for the marshland, but no one has been able to locate her yet. The Bob-Whites figure this is a job for Mrs. Vanderpool, because she apparently knows everybody who ever lived in the area, and plan to go see her that afternoon.

Mrs. V does indeed remember Jim’s Aunt Betje (Betty) Maarsden, his mother’s sister. She says that Betje and her husband Wilhelm and their daughter Juliana died in a car accident years ago. If that is true, it would make Jim the rightful owner of the marshland. Mrs. V has a picture of the Maasdens with an address in The Hauge, in Holland. Trixie writes a letter trying to find more info about the family. She waits patiently for a response. Just kidding! Trixie is never patient about anything. She and Honey pass the time working as candy stripers at the hospital, and the whole gang has to practice riding the horses for an upcoming Turf Show.

Finally, the letter comes from someone named Minna Schimmel. She says that Juliana survived the accident and was raised by the Schimmels. The Schimmels daughter, Mrs. De Jong, moved to the U.S. when she married, taking Juliana with her so she could go to school here. They live in the Bronx, and Juliana is engaged to a lawyer from The Hague. Mrs. Schimmel says she will write to Juliana to tell her she has a cousin. Jim is happy and a bit overwhelmed at the news of having a real blood relative. The Bob-Whites find the phone number of the De Jongs in the Bronx, but there is no answer when they call. They decide to take the new station wagon down to the city to meet them in person.

When they get there, the De Jongs aren’t home. Bummer. A neighbor tells them that the family is on vacation in The Poconos. Juliana saw the article about the land in the paper and was going to Sleepyside to inquire about it. Then she was going to go on to the Poconos with her family. When the Bob-Whites come out of the neighbor’s house, they find that someone has messed with the station wagon. It won’t run, and they have to get a mechanic to fix it. The neighbor says it must have been some weirdo, but Trixie isn’t sure. She thinks it is the same person she saw at the marsh.

Back in Sleepyside that evening, Mrs. Belden tells the Bob-Whites that Juliana is in town already! She is staying with Mrs. Vanderpool while she finds out about the land deal. The gang heads over after supper to meet her.

Juliana is tall and beautiful and charming and all that. Jim agrees to drive her to the courthouse the next day to sign the paperwork. But the clerks tell her it might be weeks before her claim is settled. She is frustrated and a bit angry, but the others calm her down. Trixie and Honey tell her about a young woman who is a patient at the hospital where they volunteer. She was in a car accident and now has amnesia. They’ve been calling her “Janie,” because she can’t remember her own name. Juliana seems upset by this news, and she wants to meet Janie and try to cheer her up, so Trixie and Honey take her to the hospital the next day.

Against doctor’s orders, Juliana pushes Janie to remember details about her accident, and seems frustrated when she can’t. She gets defensive when the others ask her to back off. Trixie begins to wonder about Juliana, but then feels bad about doubting her.

Moms thinks it will benefit Janie to come stay at Crabapple Farm until her memory returns, and the doctor agrees. Juliana is not happy about this. She thinks Janie might be dangerous because of her memory damage. The Belden kids laugh at her, and she gets mad and flounces off. Janie loves it at Crabapple Farm, and who wouldn’t, really?

Trixie looks through some newspapers at the library and finds an article about a missing girl from Chicago. She thinks it might be Janie, and they make arrangements to fly Janie out to meet the missing girl’s sister and brother-in-law. What follows is a pretty sad and emotional scene, by children's book standards. As you probably guessed, Janie isn’t the woman’s sister. The Bob-Whites throw a surprise barbeque for Janie back at Crabapple Farm, to cheer her up. There is food and singing and dancing, and the whole thing sounds like a lot of fun. But someone in a green car stops and asks Bobby if he knows where Mrs. Vanderpool lives. The others don’t see him and don’t think much of it. Janie has a moment where she seems like she is about to remember, but Juliana mouths off and breaks the spell. She asks Jim to take her home, and he sees her leaving Mrs. V’s in the same green Buick that drove by the Belden’s earlier. Mrs. Vanderpool says Juliana gets lots of calls and is gone most of the time. The next day, the girls and Jim are worried and suspicious, and wonder if she is seeing someone behind her fiancé’s back. But Moms reminds them that Juliana is an adult and is allowed to have a private life.

Janie goes for a walk in the woods, but doesn’t return by 5pm. The gang goes looking for her. She has fallen down the dangerous cliff by the marsh, because someone removed the signs. In a move she picked up in Bob-White Cave, Trixie goes down the side of the cliff to help her. She and Janie are pulled back to safety, and there is much applause for Trixie’s bravery.

Juliana stops by when she hears about Janie’s accident. She mouths off and storms out the door, again. Jim sees her getting in the green Buick yet again. Even Mrs. Belden seems a bit flustered at this point. The Bob-Whites have dinner that evening at Mrs. Vanderpool’s, and she tells them Juliana has been working on making dolls to sell at the upcoming Turf Show. The Bob-Whites again think they may have misjudged her, but the whole thing is hard to figure out.

That same night, everything comes to a head. The gang finds out that Juliana’s papers from Holland have finally come through and she can settle her claim and move on. In the middle of the night, Trixie sees someone crossing the yard, heading towards Janie’s window. She and Honey go to investigate, instead of doing the sensible thing and waking everyone else up. It turns out to be Jim’s cruel stepfather, Jones, and he is not happy to see them. He had cut the power to the house and drugged poor Reddy the dog, and was going to drug Janie as well.

That morning, a call comes through from the De Jong’s neighbor in the Bronx. Juliana’s fiance Hans Vorwald has shown up, looking for her. He is on the bus on the way to Sleepyside right now. The Bob-Whites agree to pick him up and try to call Juliana, but of course, she’s not home. The pieces finally fall together for Trixie, who takes the gang on a wild chase around town. First to the bank, where they find Juliana has already cashed the check for $150,000. The others think Jones must have tried to kidnap her, but Trixie takes them to pick up Hans again. She won’t explain what is going on as she directs them back to Crabapple Farm. In a twist you probably saw coming, Janie gets her memory back as soon as she sees Hans. Janie is really Juliana, and the other Juliana was an imposter working with Jones and some other criminals that Trixie had helped capture before. (Guess they didn’t learn their lesson last time). Jones is the one who caused Janie/Juliana to run off the road and caused her to fall off the cliff. In the end, all of them are apprehended. Mouthy as ever, Jones tells of seeing the article about Betje Maasden in the paper and recognizing the name as his former wife’s sister. He couldn’t cash in himself, so he hired the fake Juliana to take the real one’s place and get the money. In the end, an evil plot is foiled, bad guys are re-jailed, a memory returns, and a wedding is planned, which we will read about in the next book.

Last lines- “I’ve never in my whole life been anyone’s maid of honor! I’ve never even been a bridesmaid!” she added. “Gleeps, just imagine! Me!”